


Pandora

by lennyfaceOfficial



Category: Caillou (Cartoon), Shrek Series
Genre: Coffee Shop, Comedy, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, what th eFUCK
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-16
Updated: 2015-02-16
Packaged: 2018-03-13 04:39:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3368198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lennyfaceOfficial/pseuds/lennyfaceOfficial
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Caillou runs into a peculiar boy while writing a paper at the local Starbucks. Shrek, doing his part-time job, finds his dream boy clakking away at a computer. What Happens Next Will Warm Your Heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pandora

**Author's Note:**

> this is a sin  
> i am not going to heaven

Caillou walks in the center of the sidewalk, head covered snugly in two beanies. It's colder than ever this Minnesota winter, and being bald was the worst part of growing up. The snow was falling lighter now, but still the wind stung his cheeks and fingers. Sticking his hands inside his pockets, he pulls out his phone - 4:24. The Starbucks doesn't close for two hours. He puts his phone back and keeps walking, the laptop case on his shoulder begins to hurt his arms. Caillou eagerly enters the warm shop, the aroma of coffee and the sound of idle chat briefly taking up the air.

* * *

Shrek's family was not well-off. The illness wearing on him had taken what little money they retained, and even then the lime complexion he retained was a testament to his poor health. He was wracked with guilt the moment they started talking about money. Once he had gotten out of the hospital - and over the two-week recuperation period - he had immediately applied for a job. Many places turned him down on account of the condition - Holiday Inn, McDonald's, Hot Topic. Well, Hot Topic, a bit begrudgingly (a corporate decision? managerial prejudice?). All except for Starbucks, where the lighting made it only minimally noticeable. So, here he was, simply writing names on cups when woah who's _this_ guy?

* * *

The coffee shop was crowded with people going at laptops. The boy in a red-erm, blue-well, both-beanie approached the barista.

"Uh, I'll have a hot chocolate."

Shrek looked back and was suddenly struck with heart palpatations. Wow wow wow wow wow wait a second, what did he say? Shit.

"...pardon?"

"A hot chocolate, please."

Shrek turned back quickly, hoping that his cheeks remained their normal hue. Quickly remembering protocol - "What's your name?" "Caillou. That's C-A-I-L-L-O-U." - he fulfilled the order. "Caillou!" Caillou walked to the counter and took his drink, handing over some money. Shrek looked at the clock. 4:25. Break time. He took off the Starbucks garb and approached the dreamy boy he had made a drink for. Caillou, having taken off one of his beanies, was typing away. Shrek didn't see any earbuds, so he spoke up. "Uh, hi. How's it- uh, what's up, hello." He awkwardly offered his hand to the boy. "I'm Shrek." Caillou looked up and cautiously - and a little confusedly - took it in a handshake. Shrek was... honestly a bit disappointed that this wasn't some sort of spark moment. He expected "Boom, Clap" to start playing the moment they locked eyes, but it was more of a "wamp wamp wa-a-a-amp" moment.

Then Shrek pulled Caillou out of his chair. Going into the very middle of the room, he kissed Caillou straight on the mouth for a whole minute while everyone cheered. "Boom, Clap" started playing this time. But then, Eridan Ampora from Octopimp's Hetalia(TM) came in. He was wearing a #MENINIST t-shirt and had a gigantic fedora on, that broke the doorway because of its massive girth. He came in and said "wuh-wehhhh, i am a dood bro, date me senenenenenepai" and shot Shrek with a nerf dart with poison on it. Shrek fell over, dead. "NO! WHY?" Caillou cried out, caressing Shrek in his arms and crying. Then, the universe got reset. The end.

 

like this if you cry everytime

 

 


End file.
